so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
