i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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