Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
