return my video game
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
