Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize