Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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