But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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