I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
