Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
