im six kinds of drunk right now
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
