These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Of course I have a pirate flag
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
