She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
