Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize