It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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