I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize