I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Four minutes until I can fart!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
