Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
