pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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