i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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