Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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