I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
