I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
