So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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