i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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