Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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