I bet he comes in French.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
