I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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