i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize
