So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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