Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
