There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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