Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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