mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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