I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
