i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
