Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
