So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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