If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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