She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize