based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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