you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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