Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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