Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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