Do vagina's smell?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
