Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My breasts were aching with rage.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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