Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
