Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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