id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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