Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just blew my weed a kiss
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
