AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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