Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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