Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
