My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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