I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
