The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
