Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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