dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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