My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize