I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
