yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
