yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
