no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
