I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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