He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
