u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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