He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
