can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
