he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
