Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
third nipple confirmed
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
