i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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