sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
