I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize