so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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