I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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